MYKONOS PRICES ARE ABSOLUTE CARNAGE

 

MYKONOS PRICES ARE ABSOLUTE CARNAGE  

Summer 2023 

The price hikes in Mykonos this summer are just savage.  But is the glamorous island still worth your life savings? Or should you skip it until the bubble pops? I’m here to set your expectations straight when heading to one of the most expensive islands in the world. 

Since my travels to Greece as early as 2012, I have been to Mykonos 5 times. I have seen the island morph and shift from a bit of a trashy affair to an ultra luxury global phenomenon. It is by no means the same as what is “used to be” and now attracts a totally different energy. Mykonos has grown up and well, I am not complaining. My wallet is, however. 

Mykonos is truly a special island, but this may be the worst summer to go there. With inflation up to what feels like 200%, tourists cannot stop complaining about the straight-up price gouging happening at all the hotels, restaurants, beach clubs, taverns and Airbnbs. Prices on the island are EVEN WORSE than they were in the last couple of years and that is saying a lot! In 2019, tourists posted photo evidence of their bills because, well, you have to see it to believe it: 

MYKONOS IS  MEDITERRANEAN THIEVERY 

This summer, I saw prices that averaged about 45-50 EUR per plate and that’s just for a basic chicken dish at a super basic hotel.  Some of my average lunch costs were just over 65 EUR (for my end alone) and I don’t even drink alcohol! I distinctly remember some of the prices for some menu items such as: 

• Freshly squeezed orange juice – 9 EUR (I asked if a Greek God squeezes it for me and the answer was no)
• Steak and frites – 200 EUR (this better be a religious cow and holy potatoes) 
• Greek salad- 28 EUR (Better be made of tomatoes from Athena’s garden)
• Octopus salad starter – 32 EUR  (and it’s not the Octopus Teacher) 
• Small bottled water – 15 EUR (and now I’m broke and still thirsty) 
• Seasonal fruit salad – 38 EUR (at least it’s not a plate of apples and bananas, I would be pissed) 
• Lobster pasta – 80 EUR (I guess, sounds about right) 

And that’s not even listing some of the level 10 extortion I saw at the high end restaurants and nightclubs I was invited to like:

• Basic bottle of vodka: 600 EUR (Do I look like a rapper to you?) 
• Sunbeds on a famous beach club: 700 EUR for a set (guess I’ll stick to pale skin) 
• Bottle service table: 20,000 EUR (honestly, so glad I don’t drink alcohol) 
• Dinner at a theater show: 1,000 EUR per head (you don’t get to take home one of the dancers) Tables at famous nightclub next to the DJ: 10,000 EUR (I wouldn’t pay that to see MJ resurrected) 

Now let’s get into transportation in Mykonos! If you’re not a cigar-smoking billionaire with a decked out private ride, you’re looking at spending 60 EUR per day on a crappy car rental or 35-40 EUR PER TAXI RIDE no matter the distance. The second you jump in a taxi/Uber, whether it’s 5 minutes or 15 mins, it’s just 35 EUR per way, minimum. 

A moment of silence for your credit card. 

Prices like these can only attract a really specific crowd and that can sometimes leave tourists feeling excluded and even a bit offended. Mykonos has always been on the pricier side but in earlier years like 2017 and 2018, it attracted super cool internationals, young entrepreneurs, exciting travelers and other higher end digital nomads. *Sigh* I miss those days. 

Now you have to have “fuck you money” and a posse of OnlyFans models in order to foot these lofty bills. 

 

HERE’S THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY MYKONOS CANNOT JUSTIFY THESE PRICES: 

With places like St.Tropez and Monaco, top prices like these are super acceptable because they offer sophisticated service and world class amenities. Mykonos island just isn’t sophisticated enough to justify what they are asking for.

The Wifi simply doesn’t work. So if you expect to continue with business while on vacay, think again. The roads are so dangerous that an accident happens literally every 5 minutes. Just read the stats reported in 2020 here. Driving in Mykonos is as dangerous as flying blind. While the service at restaurants has improved, it’s still not at the price level they are asking for. Waiters forget about you and most of them are from countries like Albania. 

And finally, if you’re going to call this a 5 star hotel and charge 5 star prices, then why do the rooms and the facilities look more like a 3 star? The beds can be hard as rocks, the rooms are fitted with old furniture and the electricity can sometimes go out. Rooms like this can easily run 400 EUR per night. It’s simple.  You are not getting your money’s worth. Unless you are staying at the swanky Cavo Tagoo for a minimum of 1200 EUR per night, your expectations will need to come down. Way down. 

Until these things are fixed, these prices could be considered more or less, a rip off.

RUMOR HAS IT THINGS WILL CHANGE:

I noticed something strange this summer: room to breathe! The restaurants were not as packed. The beach clubs had empty lounge chairs. Hotels were only at 60-70% capacity in late June.  It’s clear that tourists are saying “No thank you” to Mediterranean thievery and choosing lesser known spots to spray champagne on each other. 

So….should you go to Mykonos ? Or skip it?

I say skip Mykonos this summer. Let the low demand scare business owners into submission. Rumor has it that prices will drop for the next season and Mykonos will see more of a mixed crowd and not just for  Middle Eastern jet setters and their crew of plastic fantastic blow up dolls.

It’s a stunning, beautiful, super fun, super exotic and unique island that deserves tourism. Just not at these prices. 

Here’s a simple breakdown of what to expect in Mykonos if you do plan on going: 

What is AWESOME about Mykonos: 

• Stunning crystal clear beaches 
• Variety of cuisine options and not just Greek food 
• The scenery is unreal 
• Endless sunshine and perfect weather 
• Tasty local fruits 
• Great dining options for both high end experiences and local taverns 
• Super fun parties with international DJ’s 
• Great place to meet other fun travelers 
• Unique town center 
• Unique fashion shopping experiences with local Greek designers 
• Beautiful people 

 

 

What SUCKS about Mykonos: 

• The wifi might as well be dial up 
• Driving is super dangerous and at times life threatening 
• Drunk driving accidents 
• Accommodations are never really up to standard unless you are at an ultimate luxe hotel 
• Overcrowded
• Way overpriced (hence this entire article) 
• Flights tend to experience delays or cancellations because seats get oversold 
• Can get super windy if you go in late August 
• The gyms don’t have AC 
• Be careful of secret charges on your bill that have been “magically added” as scams

Either way, you will have the time of your life and should expect to leave filled with once in a lifetime memories. It’s still a top destination with mind blowing entertainment. I will always love you, Mykonos. I wish my wallet felt the same.